Almost Beautiful People by Cat Eyes

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The Almost Beautiful People
By: Cat Eyes

First some background. Eros, God of Beauty and Love is responsible for all things pleasing to the eye. For Eons he has made the flowers, sunsets and yes, beautiful people.

Now to be able to be this fabulous, he has to stay inspired. This means lots of partying with the beautiful people of old, surrounded with much wine, decadent foods and late night debauchery. And yes, those fabulous after-hours parties.

Now when Eros gets up around 2 p.m. it’s a glass of orange juice and then down to business. You can thank his genius for such human glory as Helen of Troy,

the Gibson Girl,


Clark Gable


and Angelina Jolie.


However, such creations do not happen without cultivation. They require dedication and complete attention to detail. And sometimes Eros just tore one too many the night before, and things can go wrong.

Ex. Ethan Hawke


This man was almost gorgeous. But when Eros passed out from a monster hangover, Ethan was left too thin in the jaw, eyes too narrow, a bit too lanky and with teeth that resembles a rodent's.

Others current examples of almost beautiful people are Paris Hilton, Nick Lachey and Gwyneth Paltrow. Notice that in each case something is just not quite right…


But these tragic almost beauties are not Eros’ fault! Blame instead wild parties involving Grace Kelly, Cleopatra and other celebrated beauties of long ago. His very inspiration is the downfall of some, but the occasional almost beautiful person is a small price to pay for the legary beauties that grace us, living legacies of the glory of Eros, God of Beauty.

Dear Readers: Can you think of anyone who deserves mentioning?